Duncan Elliot is a life coach working out of Basingstoke in England. He particularly works with people who feel that there must be more to life and are willing to work at it, so that they can feel happier and more in control of their life. He offers life coaching in person, on the phone or via audio or video across the Internet. Click here to contact him.

Relationships

Force Four Life Coaching

Catch the wind in your sails!

If you're in a relationship, I want it to be great for you, whether you're married, co-habiting, have a civil partnership or are going out. If your primary relationship is working well then it will enhance your whole life.

Have a think about your relationship. Do you have a clear idea of where it's going? Do you know what each of you want out of it? Do you know which parts are fantastic, and do you appreciate them? Do you know which parts needs some work and how you're going to move them along? If the answer to any of those is, “No” then I'd love to work with you.

Some of the common areas that could do with improvements include:

Expectations

Wouldn't it be great if you understood your partner's expectations and values? You'd be able to see why some things that mean little to you are important to them. You'd be able to see ways to make them feel special – or understand why they need to feel special – and to go out and do it. That can make a huge difference to YOUR life!

Wouldn't it be great if you understood your own expectations and values? If you could get those across to your partner in a way that they could understand and respond to? Imagine the difference to your life if you could do that!

Communication

Good communication really enhances our relationships. Are you saying what you want to say in a way that your partner can hear it? Humans often say things in the way that they'd like it said to them. Unfortunately your partner may have a very different communication style, so it could be that they're not actually hearing you.

In “The Fiddler on the Roof”, the main character asks his wife if she loves him. Her response? “I've washed your clothes, cooked your meals, cleaned the house, given you children, milked your cow”. She was communicating in one way: he wasn't hearing.

I'd love to work with you on making sure that you're saying things in such a way that your partner can hear it.

One wife asked her husband the same question. “I told you I loved you when I married you,” he replied, “and I'll let you know if anything changes.” He had made another of the big communication mistakes: he was only telling his wife what it was important for HIM to hear.

I'd also love to work with you on communicating to your partner what THEY need to hear.

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